You Are So Brave

When I started this blog I wasn't sure where my voice would go. Either to be lost in the vastness of cyberspace or by some miracle perhaps someone might hear it. Regardless, this blog has given me  several opportunities I never expected like the opportunity to talk to several hundred teens and young adults through local events and when I was blessed to have my story published on LifeTeen.com. So I know people are hearing my story, but what I am just over the moon about is the number of women who have since contacted me with questions, comments, etc. So this post is dedicated to them.

I want to tell you each how brave I think you are. Each of you is struggling with things that would be so much easier if you just popped the pill, but either for health reasons, moral reasons, or a combination of the two you have decided to starting asking questions and researching your options. That takes a leap of faith that I know is incredibly difficult and can be so scary.

I want to encourage you and try and shout above the waves of people or your own self doubt that you are doing the right thing. Even if you haven't already signed up for a NFP class or started converting your friends, just looking at options is an awesome first step. It's the only first step really. I was my own worst enemy and if one person backed up my own self doubt then my resolve crumbled. It took weeks and weeks of discussions with friends to get me to finally climb the wall I had made out of my birth control pill packs to take that first step in following God's plan for me as well as a healthier lifestyle. 

So I just want to say again, ladies, you are so brave. So BRAVE! I've seen your faces, or at least ones like them, in the rows of women at pre-cana classes. I can see that inner struggle. I so know that inner struggle. But I'll tell you what I tell them. NFP is not the same as taking a pill everyday. It's a lifestyle change and that takes determination, knowledge, and support. There are difficult aspects of NFP that you don't have when you simply take a pill and forget about the rest. But I wouldn't trade those difficult aspects for the control I feel knowing my body and peace I feel when I know I'm aligned with my faith and understand why. So start researching, keep asking me and other resources questions, determine your reasons for staying on birth control and the reasons why you are even considering NFP. I found that the reasons I was considering NFP were reasons worth fighting for to make NFP work. And once I made that switch, I suddenly have even more reasons to stick with it.

And I know support isn't out there in droves for your decision to switch to NFP for family planning or even to just understand your cycle, so please never feel like a burden or a bother to email me with questions. I WANT to be that support!

Again, I am so impressed with all of you amazing women!

Turning Skepticism Into Openness

“The body, and only the body, is capable of making visible what is invisible: the spiritual and the divine.” – Pope John Paul II, TOB 46:6

We used Up as an example in our talk because they are the cutest Disney couple ever!

A few weeks back the wonderful couple that taught us NFP asked us if we could step in to give the pre-cana talk on marriage and sexuality. They are part of the Air Force and were moving to a base in California. We of course jumped at the chance to help spread the word about NFP.

Pre-cana is the Catholic Church’s version of marriage prep. The marriage at Cana was where Christ performed his first public miracle when He turned water to wine at the urging of His mother. A fitting name for marriage prep, don’t you think? Today I felt like I was turning skepticism into openness, or at least attempting to.

After we agreed to give the talk, we went and sat in on one. It’s hard coming from an environment that is so pro-NFP to one that is literally hostile to the idea. Our teaching couple got up there and shared their hearts out, but mostly what they got in return were closed minds and skeptic hearts. I was a little terrified at what we were going to face when it came our turn.

I’m an editor by trade, but I don’t always take criticism well. I can dish it out, but I can’t take it. I know, total hypocrisy, but that’s the honest truth, and I’m working on it (just don’t go editing this now). At the end of the pre-cana session the couples listening get to give us feedback. I think some of the people need a new definition of feedback. Feedback should be constructive, not destructive.  But, there were a few shining, hopeful statements in the bunch, which is ultimately what we are after. Maybe this is God’s way of making me better at taking criticism?

Anyway today we gave our first pre-cana talk! I literally worked on it every evening for the past week because I wanted to appeal to both those couples open to NFP and those using contraceptives. To do that, we used the quote at the top as the basis for our talk. We talked about how ultimately this talk wasn’t about sex; it was about respect of your body, your spouse’s body, and the body of your marriage when you become one flesh in the sacrament (Ephesians 5:28-31). I hope to have a blog post about more on that later.

Anyway, there were only five couples this time. A really small class, but we were thankful for that since this was our first go at it. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, our notes weren’t visible on the screen that showed our PPT slides. So we had to wing it a little bit. I think it helped, but it did run us over our time about 15 minutes. Oops. The couple that hosts the pre-cana came up to us afterward though and said they would increase our time allotted in the future because they loved the points we were making. Yeah!! Sorry future pre-cana people!

The highlight of all of this is that out of the five couples, two couples said they were really interested in taking the class and would be looking us or another local teacher up in the near future! Another couple said they would be looking into adoption since we spoke about infertility issues and the amazing options out there for couples that are loving and morally sound. Not sure what the thoughts of the other two couples were, but we should get our evaluations soon … finger-crossed!

This will probably be a never-ending process of modifying our talk for pre-cana, so if you have any thoughts or suggestions for us about what would appeal to you if you were in the seats, leave me a comment. Ben and I would greatly appreciate it!