Pretty Bones: March 2018

My oldest two daughters were born between 37 and 38 weeks. So when week 38 showed up and baby girl had moved to a posterior position (her spine to mine), I was feeling out of sorts. My mom had always said I was "sunny side up" and that's probably the reason my mom had a c-section after an extremely long labor. That night, Temperance (my 2-year old) woke up at 2 am and I spent about an hour crying and praying while I tried to get her to sleep again. I was tired, in pain, and now worried I wouldn’t get my very desired VBAC (Temperance was breech and required a c-section). I kept telling God that I just didn’t want to sacrifice that much. It felt selfish, but it’s where I was.
The next day my girls were arguing in the car so I turned on a CD. The song was something about “you can have it ALL Lord. Every part of me.” I felt like that was the nudge toward peace about whatever outcome I needed. By the end of the day, I didn’t care how she came out, only that she did soon. She was causing so much sharp pain that I was immobilized on my hands and knees while my children just watched. I made it to a sitting position, but my goodness, I hurt!
February 22 I went to bed so frustrated because I wasn't feeling anything contraction-wise, not even my usual Braxton Hicks. Well, about 1.5 hours later at 12:15 am, I woke up feeling like maybe I had a contraction. Didn’t believe it and thought maybe I dreamed it. Then another came about 10 minutes later. I prayed this was the real deal until another came 7 minutes later and really hurt. Got cold feet about labor! I got up to use the bathroom and had two more. Laid back down and had a few more. Shook Ben, my husband, awake and told him I was in labor. He said “oh good” and fell back to sleep! He has no memory of that!
Another two contractions came, and I’m starting to panic. They were intense and close. I shake him again and was like, “You need to finish packing the bag now!” That got him going. He called my mom to come over and that was about 12:50. I had a few more contractions, and at the end of one I told my mom I wasn’t sure I was going to make it to the hospital. They both started freaking out. I was too because contractions were about every 3 minutes and others were right on top of each other. Ben flew to the hospital. We got there about 1:20. I was a 5 cm and 90% effaced. “You’ll probably stay,” they said.

Ben said, "Smile fast!" while I was between a contraction haha!

I was already so tired at this point, so I decided to try the epidural, especially since she was still posterior, and I thought I had a long morning ahead of me. I’ve had a drug-free vaginal birth and a c-section. Why not try a third option? But it takes a LONG freaking time for them to get that epidural to you! I was pretty much screaming by 3 am when he came to administer it. The contractions were so intense. But I still assumed it could take a while since she was sunny side up. Finally, he gets it in at 3:15 ish. Contractions still hurt! I was hoping for that instant relief (which he tells me after doesn’t happen) except now I was dealing with contractions on my back and in my back.
The on-call doctor came in at 3:25 and says they don’t like baby’s heart rate. They flip me twice and then she says, “we need to get the baby out now!” Luckily, when they checked, I was 10 cm and complete. Probably was in transition during the epidural placement, which is why it was horrible. I push once, and the doctor yells at me to look at her. “Hear that sound?” she asks me. Honestly, I really had no idea what was good or bad at the moment. I was so tired I could barely open my eyes. But she continued saying, “That heart rate is bad. She needs to come out now or we have to try something else.” I knew that meant c-section. So I pushed as best as I could feeling off from the epidural still trying to take effect. I could feel the pressure, but I also couldn’t really believe it was happening. I was SO out of it. Then I heard her ask for a vacuum. I started panicking. But another push later and Ben said he could see her head. Two more pushes and she was out.

I’ve never seen such a white baby. Not only was she really, really coated in vernix, but she had no color. Every nurse that had been a flurry of motion went totally still. Doctor kept telling baby to breath. I couldn’t see her face, and I was holding my breath. Longest moments of my life as the doctor rubbed and talked to her. Finally, Ben says he saw her fingers move and she lets out a cry. Everyone starts moving again. The cord was very short apparently, but she came out the way I had hoped! I was so thankful for my VBAC even if I was overwhelmed by the 3-hour labor. It may have been fast, but it felt like more work than my 9-hour one with Cordelia.

Everyone kept saying how much happier I looked after having given birth. I feel like that would be an obvious outcome, but I did feel amazing. I wasn't pregnant and in pain anymore, the anxiety of how labor and delivery would go was behind me, and Juliette Regina (meaning young queen) was here in my arms! 7 lbs 5 oz after 3 hours and 15 mins of labor! It was the longest I'd been pregnant at 38 weeks 1 day, my shortest labor, and my heaviest baby. I guess a good plus to the epidural is that they have to let you stay in the same spot for at least 2 hours after it is administered, so I got about 1.5 hours of time with her before they did anything for vitals and such. Can’t believe she is here. Her two older sisters adore her, and Juliette is currently a pro at sleeping through their craziness!