Life Teen: Addicted to Birth Control

Today marks a little bit of a dream come true for me. I've been published on LifeTeen.com!

I was shocked when I received an email from LifeTeen.com asking if they could reprint my blog page "My Story: A Recovering Birth Control Addict", and I of course immediately said yes. LifeTeen.com is an awesome online resource for teenagers (specifically Catholic) regarding all things "faith." It's a true honor to have my story posted to its pages.

I have an idea of how they ran across it since I'm friends with one of their authors who also recently wrote a great post about birth control for LifeTeen.com and is a frequent author for the site, Alison Griswold. Check out her work! It's informative, quirky, and right on target.

This month on LifeTeen.com they are focusing on birth control so check out some of the other posts and check back all month for more information about birth control in general, the church's stance on contraception, and more. And more importantly pass this information onto teenagers and the parents of teenagers because it is so important. If this was a topic that had come up more during my teenage years I might not have stayed on birth control for as long as I did (I'd like to think that anyway haha ;) ). Spread the word because there is a lot of bad information out there about what the church teaches and the moral, healthy alternatives to birth control! Let's spread the positive message that natural family planning, responsible parenthood, and chastity have to offer, which is one of hope, commitment, health, respect, and love.

We've been Published!

We've been published! I was so excited when approached by CCLI to have our witness talk published in their Family Foundations magazine. I was even more excited that our talk was chosen for the wedding and marriage issue, which is highly distributed. I'm praying that God uses our words to help others in their journey to using NFP or strengthening their current practice of NFP. Both are so important. 

What is kind of fun about this is that it is entirely in our words ... except for the title, "NFP helps us see the bigger picture." I didn't provide a title when I submitted our talk, but I think it's perfect. I'm thrilled that after reading our talk the editor came to the conclusion that NFP has helped us see there is a bigger picture for us than the one we paint, God's picture.

A few weeks ago my husband and I were blessed enough to be asked to speak about Theology of the Body to a group of confirmation students. For most of them, it was the first time they had ever heard about Theology of the Body so I wanted to make sure we hit the really important parts. By the end we were giving them examples from our own lives and I concluded with, "What's really cool about all this is how quickly your will aligns with God's will when you are truly open to it." It's just so true! For years I was fighting God's will. Truly blocking it from my life and in effect from my marriage by clinging to the false promises contraception makes for a couple's future. I was so sure that I knew what was best for my marriage and my life that I told God each day I swallowed that pill that I didn't need to place my trust in him or that the freewill He gave me wasn't strong enough to follow His perfect plan.

I can't tell you the celebratory feeling I have inside of me when I think about how we are open to God's plan for us each day now compared to how closed we were in the past. I'm not saying we're perfect or that we have any real idea of God's plan for us, but I feel like we are much closer. Plus, it's been a year since we kicked the contraception habit for NFP and it has so radically changed our lives for the better  that I can't help but see God's hand everywhere! It's strengthened our marriage, our faith in one another to want the best for our marriage, our trust in God and his future plan for us, and it has opened so many doors so that we might evangelize to others about God's beautiful design of our bodies but also of his unfathomable love for each and ever living cell! It gives me goosebumps!

NFP isn't always easy and sometimes it brings about the unexpected (like how differently I view my world!), but it is so entirely worth it. Truly, as the article is titled, it has helped us get a better glimpse of the bigger picture and it's a beautiful picture.

NFP Believes in Soulmates

Sometimes I forget to lead with my heart instead of my mind when it comes to telling people about NFP. I want to preach that it’s 99.5 percent effective at preventing pregnancy and that it tells you all sorts of things about your body beyond you fertility and … look I’m doing it again!

But honestly avoiding the baby bump is not the ultimate reason behind my love for NFP. I love NFP because I now see humanity in a totally different light.

If you couldn’t guess, I’m a Christian (NO WAY, right?), and I’m a pretty ginormous fan of Jesus and His Church. They have both taught me how to respect my body as well as the bodies of others, but never more clearly than when I was learning NFP and researching the reason the Church denounces contraceptives (because, hey, I was on that bandwagon for a while). What I learned literally took my breath away and blew my mind so completely that I’m surprised I still lead with it.

The body is essential to the truths of the Christian faith, but most of the time it gets a bad rap for being “weak flesh”. But it wouldn’t be weak if we knew how amazing it was. Want to know why? Keep reading.

First is that God created us in His image and likeness. For a long time I just thought that meant our souls were like His and not necessarily our bodies. I just didn’t see the body as being as important as the soul. But if bodies aren’t important to God’s overall design, then why did He give them to us? I think it would be pretty cool if we just flew around as spirits without the limitations of bodies. But since we have bodies, there must be a reason.

I also know that the body is essential to understanding Christianity because Christ became man; He took on human flesh. God wouldn’t have done that if the body were somehow lesser than the soul. He could have easily appeared on Earth as a ghost/spirit type of entity, but instead He was incarnate of the Virgin Mary and became man. He became flesh because it would be the destruction of that flesh on the cross that would make His sacrifice so great and absolutely perfect.

Finally I had to come to the realization that the body and the spirit are not two separate things competing in a contest for who is greater. They are indivisible. Christ wasn’t half human and half God when He was walking around Earth. He was fully both because He was God made flesh just like we are souls made flesh. As such respect of the body is paramount. When you can look at another human being or look in the mirror and see a soul made in the image and likeness of God how can you hate that person? How could you not love that person if you love God?

NFP has made me see this as I learn how perfectly my body was made. NFP has more fully cemented my view that my body should be respected by me as well as by my spouse. My husband and I don’t work against it, but with it. I’ve also become more aware of dangers I see so many of my friends putting themselves directly in front of. They don’t view their body as something sacred and beautiful and made by God. Instead they look for ways to feel those things in ways that are disrespectful to their body such as sex for fun instead of sex for true, covenant love. They don’t wait for to have sex with their “soulmate” (means more now that you know that the body and the soul are indivisible, right?) because this world likes to preach that the body is a toy to do with what we please even if that means hurting it. NFP teaches quite the opposite: that we belong to God and we were created to be loved.

Turning Skepticism Into Openness

“The body, and only the body, is capable of making visible what is invisible: the spiritual and the divine.” – Pope John Paul II, TOB 46:6

We used Up as an example in our talk because they are the cutest Disney couple ever!

A few weeks back the wonderful couple that taught us NFP asked us if we could step in to give the pre-cana talk on marriage and sexuality. They are part of the Air Force and were moving to a base in California. We of course jumped at the chance to help spread the word about NFP.

Pre-cana is the Catholic Church’s version of marriage prep. The marriage at Cana was where Christ performed his first public miracle when He turned water to wine at the urging of His mother. A fitting name for marriage prep, don’t you think? Today I felt like I was turning skepticism into openness, or at least attempting to.

After we agreed to give the talk, we went and sat in on one. It’s hard coming from an environment that is so pro-NFP to one that is literally hostile to the idea. Our teaching couple got up there and shared their hearts out, but mostly what they got in return were closed minds and skeptic hearts. I was a little terrified at what we were going to face when it came our turn.

I’m an editor by trade, but I don’t always take criticism well. I can dish it out, but I can’t take it. I know, total hypocrisy, but that’s the honest truth, and I’m working on it (just don’t go editing this now). At the end of the pre-cana session the couples listening get to give us feedback. I think some of the people need a new definition of feedback. Feedback should be constructive, not destructive.  But, there were a few shining, hopeful statements in the bunch, which is ultimately what we are after. Maybe this is God’s way of making me better at taking criticism?

Anyway today we gave our first pre-cana talk! I literally worked on it every evening for the past week because I wanted to appeal to both those couples open to NFP and those using contraceptives. To do that, we used the quote at the top as the basis for our talk. We talked about how ultimately this talk wasn’t about sex; it was about respect of your body, your spouse’s body, and the body of your marriage when you become one flesh in the sacrament (Ephesians 5:28-31). I hope to have a blog post about more on that later.

Anyway, there were only five couples this time. A really small class, but we were thankful for that since this was our first go at it. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, our notes weren’t visible on the screen that showed our PPT slides. So we had to wing it a little bit. I think it helped, but it did run us over our time about 15 minutes. Oops. The couple that hosts the pre-cana came up to us afterward though and said they would increase our time allotted in the future because they loved the points we were making. Yeah!! Sorry future pre-cana people!

The highlight of all of this is that out of the five couples, two couples said they were really interested in taking the class and would be looking us or another local teacher up in the near future! Another couple said they would be looking into adoption since we spoke about infertility issues and the amazing options out there for couples that are loving and morally sound. Not sure what the thoughts of the other two couples were, but we should get our evaluations soon … finger-crossed!

This will probably be a never-ending process of modifying our talk for pre-cana, so if you have any thoughts or suggestions for us about what would appeal to you if you were in the seats, leave me a comment. Ben and I would greatly appreciate it!