Saying Yes to the Sacrament

Check out my article about "Saying Yes to the Sacrament" in my diocese's magazine the Catholic Compass. It was so obvious how the Holy Spirit moved through these couples in their marriages. They are trying to true signs of Christ's love for His Church here on Earth. Click the link to read more. May/June 2015.

 

 

Photography on the cover by my sister at Kelsey Klaus Photography!

misconTRAception

I've been following this lovely lady's journey with NFP for the last year or two. We actually Skyped shortly after Ben and I were certified through the Couple to Couple League to teach NFP, and I heard a little about this short film she wanted to create. Pretty excited she shared it with the world recently. It's written from a secular viewpoint to reach out to more women and their partners. Enjoy!

Why I Found Postpartum to be Empowering

Postpartum.

It doesn't role off the tongue. It kind of sticks there until you spit it out. Or at least that's how it felt until I learned more.

Postpartum is the time after having a baby. It's usually a prolonged time of infertility, your body's natural way of spacing children. However, the length of this "time of infertility" is entirely unknown. How fun is that?! (That was sarcasm.) The length of infertility depends on a few factors:

1) Baby feeding - If you formula feed, your cycles will probably return very quickly, but if you exclusively breastfeed (no bottles, pumping, pacifiers, or schedule) it could be over a year before you see a cycle. And there are many more options that fall in-between. Also, adding solid food to the mix speeds up the return of fertility.

 2) Baby sleep patterns - When a baby wakes up frequently at night, it sends a signal to the mom's body that it's not a good time to have another baby because this one still requires a lot of attention. However, when babies start sleeping through the night a woman's body begins to normalize and cycles may return even if they are frequently nursing during the day.

My postpartum blessing, almost 14 months old now!

 3) Genetics - Both of the above factors may be trumped though by genetics. Some women's bodies prepare for babies faster than others.

For example, I did a high version of mixed breastfeeding. What that means is we tried to get Cordie to take a bottle three times (and she HATED it EVERY time) and no pacifiers (again, not from lack of sincere coaxing on our part). She was also on a bit of a schedule since I work from home and needed it. Combine that with Cordie waking one or more times (usually more) at night consistently, and I didn't see my first cycle until she was 10.5 months old, the week after she started sleeping through the night.

I was really excited about our use of NFP when I started reading about how birth control chemicals can be passed from mother to baby through breast milk. I was not a fan of that idea at all! But I still felt like I was kind of alone in the whole process of figuring out what the heck my body was doing postpartum. It was a lot to process--new baby, changed body. So we decided to contact an instructor to help us out. I highly encourage this! And not just postpartum, but anytime you are confused about what your body is doing when it comes to charting. Find someone to ask questions of and to confide in. (I can be that person if any of you reading need that :)

Having a husband who constantly builds you up helps postpartum, too!

We actually made the postpartum time an opportunity to learn the Creighton Method. The instructor was wonderful and met with us as often as we needed. I learned so much, and while I still choose to practice the sympto-thermal method, I feel like I have even more knowledge about my body because of my Creighton instruction. My instructor helped me establish my BIP, or basic infertility pattern, so we didn't have to abstain for months or weeks on end. Too often I hear of couples who abstain for such long periods of time because of unknowns, but that doesn't have to be the case at all. Knowledge is power. Find someone who is willing to work with you so NFP doesn't become a burden.

Cousins just two months apart.

After a few weeks of charting I immediately noticed a pattern. I could actually see my body attempting to regulate, then deciding it wasn't time, trying again, and once again deciding it still wasn't a good time for another baby because the current one still needed me quite a bit. I actually found postpartum to be empowering, which is odd because I think a lot of women can hit rock bottom self-esteem-wise postpartum. But for me, seeing how my body was working to give me time to heal and properly care for my daughter was beautiful and incredible. How amazingly did God design us?!

Finally, I learned to trust myself and God a bit more. I think our society has gotten it into our heads that we can't rely on our own observations and interpretations to accurately deduce our fertility without the help of chemicals or physical barriers. We've let fertility become this mystery when in fact it's very specific and a true science. It's my body. I've lived in it for a while now, so I think I can listen to it well enough to learn what it's doing. Postpartum isn't the easiest time for any woman, practicing NFP or not, but it doesn't have to be scary, surprising, or highly sacrificial. Learn about your body, work with an instructor if you need to, and finally trust yourself and be honest.

Spreading Our Story

We were honored when asked to be interviewed for a story on NFP for our diocesan magazine. It was perfect timing for NFP Awareness week, which was July 20-26. I'm always happy to have our story shared because I feel like lots of Catholics fall into the same boat of misinformation and a bit of fear when it comes to NFP. If you have a moment (or several) take a look. It starts on page 14 of the magazine below.

What about PCOS?

I’ve gotten this question many times now, so I thought I’d write up a response.

What about PCOS?

First, let me say, I’m so sorry you suffer with PCOS. I’ve never experienced it, but from what I’ve heard it’s a tough cross to bear in many ways. Not only are your cycles crazy, but many times it comes with weight gain, pain, mood swings, unusual hair growth, acne, insulin resistance, and it is one of the leading causes of sub or infertility.

For those who don’t know, PCOS is polycystic ovary syndrome. It is a reproductive dysfunction in which a woman ovulates infrequently or not at all. It is a hormonal disorder. And most doctors will prescribe birth control to “cure” it, and they probably truly believe it’s your only option.

I’m so sorry that the medical world feels it is ok to fix one area of your health while potentially destroying other parts. This is unfair.

I’m also sorry that our society is a quick-fix one. I’m sorry that we’ve taught ourselves that the easy way is the right way. This is setting us up for immediate happiness, but potentially future pain and long-term unhappiness.

I say these things because the pill is the easy fix by the medical world that seemingly works. You take a “magic pill” that seems to make everything better. But why are we ok with curing our acne, our weight gain, our mood swings at the expense of possibly getting blood clots, increased risks of certain cancers, and still not fixing the true problem?

Here’s a scenario; one I’ve actually seen happen. A woman dealing with PCOS is prescribed the pill at age 16. She doesn’t think about her disorder again until she’s ready to start a family later in life. She stops taking the pill and suddenly her PCOS resurfaces. She isn’t ovulating and she’s given the new cross of sub or infertility. Instead of managing her PCOS at 16, she now has to learn how when she desperately wants a baby.

Instead, why doesn’t the medical community work with women to manage their PCOS in ways that aren’t detrimental to other aspects of their health and future? There are other ways to manage PCOS. No, they might not be cures, but there are ways to help the malfunctioning parts of the body function closer to how they should. The pill may seem like it regulates your hormones and causes your body to have a “period”, but it does not. Instead it makes your body think it is pregnant and then causes it to have “withdrawal” bleeding. This just further masks the malfunction. Why has their been a shift from treating the underlying causes of women’s fertility to just “skipping over” the causes?

For many the pill is the easiest way to get back to life. I guess it is, but the easy way is not always the right way. Instead I would encourage women with PCOS to steal themselves in strength and determination. Find a doctor who is willing to work with you on managing PCOS instead of covering it up. Work with a nutritionist to loose weight (a huge factor in managing PCOS!!!).  Too much weight (or too little) can have a huge effect on cycle regularity. PCOS is a hormonal disorder and the food we eat can have a great impact on those hormones. Find which ones you are missing or eating too much of. Read Fertility,Cycles, and Nutrition or TheFertility Diet; both are books with great information about how to manage areas of a woman’s cycle naturally. Not only do they cover diet, but also have great information on supplements that can further help. 

But what about women who try those things and have no relief? Yes, there are further options. Search out a NaPro Technology doctor or at least a doctor that is willing to do hormonal profiling. Through NaPro Technology, doctors are able to find the underlying causes and determine treatment. Sometimes the treatments are minor, but for more severe cases it could include surgery.

Normal, Healthy Chart

PCOS Chart

I was asked, “If you have a daughter [that] grows up to have a condition like [PCOS], will you have her use 'NFP, vitamins, diet, and exercise'? Will you have her track her ovulation instead of taking the Pill and actually fixing her legitimate health problem, even if she is not sexually active?”

Yes! Yes, my daughter will learn NFP, and if problems arise with her cycle we will manage them with vitamins, diet, exercise, and more if the situation calls for it. She deserves total health care. She deserves more than a band-aid. I will not have her pick and choose what aspects of her health are important.

The pill is easy, but it’s not healthy. I just pray that more medical practitioners realize this and more women get the help they deserve as a result.

Resources:

http://www.fertilitycare.org

http://www.naprotechnology.com

http://www.popepaulvi.com

http://onemoresoul.com

A Letter to Cordie

Dear Cordelia Renée, 

I didn't think anything could be better after I met your daddy, but we both can't fathom why we are so blessed to be your parents. You've only been here for a year, but the way you have brightened the lives of all those around you is just incredible.

If there is one word that describes this last year, it is thankful. I've never felt this sense of thankfulness for so long before. Each day I wake up I'm so thankful I get to go pull you out of your crib, that I get to see you grow and learn, that I get to experience your every day sass and sweetness. I can't tell you how often I've rocked you and just prayed thank you. 

And I've tried to be thankful in the hard moments when you wouldn't sleep or couldn't be soothed. There is so much sadness in the world, and it reminds me daily to hold you tight even if you don't want to be. 

At the beginning of your first year I didn't want to go "all out" for a first birthday you'd never remember, but as each month sped by faster than the one prior, I realized the years would be the same. I only get to have you this little for such a short amount of time. I think that was God's design so we would never loose our awe of tiny feet, tiny hands, and baby sounds. 

I love that you look just like your daddy but with blue eyes, 

that you growl and smash things, but walk on your tip toes, 

that you are always noisy and busy, but will sit and look at a book,

that you are so clever and smart, but goofy and innocent as well, 

that you have "stranger danger", but will smile at just about anyone, 

how you crawl as fast as you can to get away, but are always happy to be caught,

and I love the people you've changed your daddy and me into.

We love you so much.

As far as the party goes, take a look at the details for your Cute as a Button themed party.

So thankful to celebrate with family and friends!

Special thanks to Aunt Kelsey of Kelsey Klaus Photography for the photos!

Hello from Uncle Kris.

Before and after. Prego buddies. 

 Happy One Year!

We love you so much!

Photo Book

How cool is this? I created a photo book through Shutterfly and can share it here.

Click here to view this photo book larger